Gone But not Forgotten
by snoflaik
Summary: the past can not be forgotten no matter how long it has been gone... TR [complete]
1. Contact

Gone but not Forgotten: Contact by snoflaik

(04/07)Slightly revised for grammer etc.

She stepped onto the metro. Finding an empty seat easily, sat down with her normal air of unconscious grace. Pulling the newspaper from her bag and taking a sip of her coffee, she crossed her legs to make herself more comfortable and began reading. Her eyes flickered across the words as the metro moved along its path. She ignored the bustle around her as the doors opened and closed, as the cabin filled and emptied again. The bright morning sun exploded into color as it hit the glass across from her, catching her eye. She lifted her head and saw him. The tall stranger stood facing her about four feet away. One hand held onto a rail above as the other held a folded newspaper. His dirty blonde head was bowed in concentration. He was strikingly handsome and his finely fitted suit spoke of money and sophistication. But it was the set of his jaw and the definition if his cheekbones that made her look twice at him. She narrowed her eyes squinting at a memory that wouldn't come into focus. And as his brilliant blue eyes looked up and met her gaze, she quickly dropped her gaze away. When she dared to look again, his eyes were once again focused down, but a slight smile graced his lips. Her stop came. Placing the paper into her bag and straightening her skirt, she stood moving towards the doors. He smiled, no smirked at her, as she passed him with a slight glance. She felt an somewhat familiar frisson through her body.

He stepped onto the metro and grabbed the nearest bar above to steady himself as the jerk signaling the start of motion, came. He kept his eyes on the business section held in his hand, casually ignoring his fellow travelers as etiquette demands. He barely noticed how empty the car had become until something broke his concentration. Then he noticed the young woman sitting not too far away who was looking at him, no practically staring, with a thoughtful expression on her lovely face. Feeling eyes upon him was something that he had gotten used to over the years. But somehow this young woman was different. Meeting her narrowed gaze, he smiled slightly at the hasty retreat downward and the blush that stained her cheeks. A hazy memory floated around him, as he found himself glancing up to see her face again. Not an old girlfriend, surely he'd remember. Not a friend of the family or a relative. Not a business partner or an old college classmate. He watched her from hooded eyes as she brushed the invisible creases out of her very prim skirt. He couldn't resist a smirk at her last glance as she passed him. And his nose filled with the lost scent of strawberries.


	2. why are you haunting me?

gone but not forgotten:  why are you haunting me?

snoflaik

Disclaimer: Don't own them… but enjoying bending them to my will

Since everyone has been clamoring for more, here it is. I didn't expect to write more so I have not a clue where this story is going. But I know you all will read because it's trory.   As Shakespeare believed, character is far more important than plot so wait a while longer and soon there will be an actual plot…hopefully….

I edited this chapter and changed it a little after receiving a few reviews that people were confused…. i hope it is cleared up a bit….

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He fell into bed and closed his eyes to let sleep claim him.  But it would not.  He flopped onto his stomach and buried his head into the pillow, struggling to get comfortable.  He sighed in frustration as he moved back onto his back and stared at the ceiling.  He couldn't figure out whom that young woman was and it was driving him insane. He could not think of who she could be or who she reminded him of. He closed his eyes and willed himself to fall asleep and think of her no more. 

Tristin dreamed.  He walked slowly through the empty silent halls of Chilton.  And with each step more students began to appear and fill the hallway.  He stopped as he saw her, standing in front of her locker, cursing at it, pleading for it to open.  It all held a sense of familiarity.  He looked over and saw himself standing exactly where he knew he would be.  He watched himself walk by her and gaze in her direction, before turning back and walking over to her, like a cat stalking his prey.  His lips moved in unison with his younger self.  

"Mary Mary.  Have no fear your knight in shining armor has returned." 

From his distance he could see her tense and her body go still.  And he closed his eyes as he suddenly remembered what her bright blue eyes looked like as they turned to meet the challenge.  Her words rang inside his head.

"Oh how I missed not being called the right name. But you are back and all is right in the world again." 

"Old habits die hard." He answered as he moved in front of her and with a quick bang popped her locker open. 

"Apparently," she replied as he moved aside. "Don't you have some groupies to grace with your returning presence?"

" But they are not as much fun as you are."

"Be still my heart, you mean I actually rank above the Tristin Harem.  I can now die a happy girl. My major goal in life has been fulfilled."

"Glad I can make your dreams come true," were his last words before smiling and walking away. The smile on his face was one of pure contentment.

"Hey Tristin," As her voice rang through the hallway, he felt a tremor pass through his spine all over again.  He saw himself stop and turn and raise a questioning brow, but he already knew her next words.

"Welcome back." And she smiled and faded away into nothingness.

The halls cleared.  The lockers disappeared and were replaced with heavy curtains on either side.  The stage.  He saw her standing there.  He stopped to watch another scene play out from his memory.  He saw himself walk up behind her.  Tristin remembered that their conversation had been barely above a whisper but he could hear it all again clearly.  

"Come to see me. I'm flattered." He whispered into her ear as strawberries assaulted his senses.

"Christ!" he saw her jump and then smile, "Sorry to lower that huge ego you've got going but I'm auditioning."

"Rory Gilmore, actress. This I have got to see."

"What? You don't think I can do it?" she asked incredulously, finally turning to face him. 

"You are a natural at acting like you don't want me, so I'm sure they'll be begging you to take the lead."

"That's not acting darlin'. That's a reality." She replied with a smile as she walked away, her name having been called.  

The younger had stood rooted, a grin lighting up his face. But the elder was not so blissful, for he knew the truth in her words.

He turned away and walked back out into the hallway.  The tiled floor changed to hardwood and the lockers melted away to reveal walls covered with elegant wallpaper.  Sounds of laughter and conversation filled in around him as people began to appear.  Happy New Year's was scrawled in elegant hand on a banner above the fireplace.  He heard her laughter and knew where he was; The Gilmore's New Year's Eve party, 2008.  He saw himself standing next to his grandfather, hands grasping a drink, which he would sip occasionally.  He would reply politely when necessary and smile respectfully. 

God, how he had hated these type of parties.  He always knew there was a world outside of Hartford and society but he had never been allowed to take part in it.  He had left for college resigned and bitter. He left expecting to hate the next four years of his life.  With the DuGrey legacy of five generations of Yale graduates lingering before him, he left wanting to escape the life that his heritage had predestined him to have. But just after a few months he found that he had been wrong and naive all his life.  At Yale, he could be himself; Tristin, the jaded youth who loved poetry and art; not the playboy of Chilton and high society.  It had taken all of his will that night to act again. He hated putting back on the mask and the façade, but it was still required.  But this was the last time. He would be leaving and could start anew.

She was there.  It was her grandparent's party after all.  And when he saw her standing there, more beautiful than ever still cloaked in the grace and innocence which she carried with her, he swore to himself that he would leave her be.  Then as the clock read 11:59, they had found themselves next to each other.  Tristin watched it all happen again before his eyes.

"10, 9, 8…"

"You know I really shouldn't be seen next to a Yalie.  Grave punishment is called for in the Harvard handbook." She had begun the banter this time.  

"7,6,5…"

"Indeed it is a capital offence. Although I think you might get kicked out." He had fallen in again too easily. 

"4,3…"

"For what?" She asked her turning to face him

"2, 1"

"For kissing a Yalie." He replied, meeting his eyes to hers.  "After all it is tradition." He added huskily as he laid a palm on the side of her cheek and leaned down. She stood wide-eyed and motionless; her eyes filled with surprise. But just before his lips were upon hers, he moved to the side and kissed her cheek. 

"Happy New Year, Rory." He remembered whispering into her ear just before he turned away.  He had to get away from her.  With that small action, he had come perilously close to breaking all his promises to himself.  He couldn't be with her; not then, not when he was still pretending.  And as he watched himself walk away from her, the room faded into darkness.

And he awakened.

* * * * * * * * 

She looked at the clock for the third time as sleep refused to take her away.  She closed her eyes again and rolled over.  All day she found herself thinking about the man she had seen this morning.  Who was he? And why did she want to know so badly?  She cleared her mind as she flipped onto her stomach and let sleep engulf her.

Rory dreamed.  Chilton stood before her, smaller than she ever remembered it looking.  Chairs in straight rows appeared on either side of her and soon people sitting in them.  She sat down in an empty seat on the side and waited. 

 "I am proud to present the 2004 Valedictorian, Lorelei Leigh Gilmore."

She smiled as she watched her younger self stand and walk gracefully to the podium.  She remembered rather than saw her fingers clutching tightly onto the podium in an attempt to calm herself.  She looked around at her fellow classmates; her eyes focusing on someone beyond and began, "Our memories shape our lives; the good, the bad, the ones that hurt and the ones that bring us joy, they are a part of us and they are what we use to learn." 

Rory heard the speech again in her head but turned away from the girl speaking to look back at the person whose eyes she had caught on that day.  The rest of the students seemed to fade as one came sharply into focus.  He sat calmly, relaxed in his chair, arms crossed on his chest.  His sapphire eyes intensely focused on the girl speaking in front of him and his lips in the half-smirk he had perfected over the years.   She had barely noticed him on that day except to catch his gaze and smile defiantly at him.  

 As Rory stood up, he faded away.  Loud music filled the air.  Walls closed in and dancing students filled the space around her.  She moved out of the way and stood near the wall, away from the chaos.  Madeline's graduation party. The last Chilton social obligation she'd ever have to attend.  She saw herself walk into the room, head held high, eyes bright and glittering.  But she wasn't the only one watching.  She watched as hauntingly blue eyes followed her from across the room.  He stood near a wall conversing with one of his friends but his eyes never leaving her.

"Your speech was very…you." He had said quietly as he walked up beside her.

"I believe that's the nicest thing you've said to me."

"What can I say? Always the charmer." He had replied with a slight smile.  

"Rory," He had said, ending the silence with his muted voice

She remembered how different he seemed that night.  He was detached, quiet, brooding.

"Can I have this dance?" 

As the words left his mouth, she had taken a moment and stared at him, not saying a word.  Across the room looking on, Rory shook her head at herself.  A thousand thoughts had been running through her head before that moment, but as she processed his words her mind fell completely blank and she could not grasp even a word to answer.  Blue had gazed at blue unblinkingly. Then he had broken away and guarded his eyes from her.  

His sigh seemed to echo around them; defeat and dejection running through it.

"Goodbye, Lorelei Leigh Gilmore." He whispered before turning.  

"Tristin," His name was all she could hold onto long enough to say.

He turned back. "Goodbye." 

The room changed as people faded and new appeared.  A Harvard flag appeared, tacked onto a nearby wall.  She watched herself sit down, settling a little distance from everyone around her.  The music pounded loudly and Rory smiled as she watched herself pull a book out of her purse and open it up to the carefully marked page.   

She had read the same page for the third time and she still couldn't stay focused.  He was there.  She had heard about him over the past two years through the grapevine of high society but she had never seen him.  

He watched her and she knew it.  Her cheeks were tinted the faintest pink and her heart raced against her will at his gaze.  Somehow no matter how hard she had resisted he had gotten to her, still.  She resisted the inclination to lift her head and stare as it became apparent that he was walking straight towards her.  She was half way down the page on her fifth reading when a hand placed itself over the words.  The book was pulled down to reveal two blue eyes.  They looked at each other for sometime, neither moving, neither speaking.  

"You haven't changed." The words rang in her head again; softly; slightly amused, just as they had been spoken then.

"Have you?" She remembered replying as she studied the face before her.  He hadn't in appearance that was for sure, but something was decidedly different.  

"That is a matter of opinion," he had replied, "Am I the same as I was? Definitely.  Did you ever know who that was? Most definitely not."  

He walked away this time.  She saw herself; dazed and slightly put off by his behavior and the emptiness in his eyes.  

Then the room and herself faded away but before she was too dragged into the darkness his face appeared again before her as she had seen him that night; still stunningly handsome but older; his once blazing eyes had been banked and become empty, frozen.

And then she awakened.

* * * * * * *

He sat at a café reading a paper while slowly sipping his coffee.  His hand reached to the back of his neck, trying to remove some of the tension and pain there.  He hadn't slept well.  He threw the paper onto the table and sighed as he ran a hand through his tousled hair and closed his eyes, giving up the losing battle to remain focused on the words in front of him.  He rubbed his temples furiously, trying to clear his mind.  But she still remained.  Rory.  The memories came rushing back, ones he had forgotten and ones he had locked away inside himself.  He had told himself that they meant nothing.  He swore that he wouldn't think of her again.  So why was she haunting him in his dreams?  Then a memory newly made and one forgotten merged in his mind. _Strawberries._  

She walked into the apartment and throwing her keys and purse onto the table, kicked off her shoes.  She sighed as she walked into the bedroom to change.  She felt drained and exhausted.  Splashing cold water onto her face, she looked into the mirror, but could only focus on his face.  Tristin.  He never meant anything to her.  He was tormentor, acquaintance and a sometimes friend.  So why exactly did he haunt her dreams and now many of her waking thoughts?  She hadn't thought about him in years.  And as she continued to stare, his face changed slightly.  He was older, but the planes of his face remained the same. And then it hit her and she saw him smile slightly, as he had just the other day.  


	3. simplicity, indeed

Gone But Not Forgotten Simplicity, Indeed 

snoflaik

Disclaimer: see part 1

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He pulled on the tie around his neck in annoyance while walking grudgingly up the stairs.  The thing always seemed to be too tight.  It felt like it was trying to choke him; similar to the society it represented.  He threw a casual smile to the woman who spoke his name and welcomed him as stepped through the doorway.  He reached to take a flute from a passing tray as his eyes scanned the room.  Tilting it back, the champagne rolled down his throat.  He held the cool glass lightly in his fingers. Staring down into the swirling liquid, he took a moment to compose himself.  

He had left to get away but had found himself drawn in all over again.  His noble dreams of freedom and self-sufficiency were all well and good but sadly that's all they were, dreams.  A connection makes the world go round, at least that's what he found. Utter the word DuGrey and you get your foot in the door.  Work as hard as he did and you can buy the whole damn house.  But he still had to pay the gatekeepers for opening that first door. And thus here he was, paying his dues.  

 He sighed and lifted the glass to his lips again.  

"Tristin."

And as he heard his name again, he placed the now empty glass on a tray that disappeared into the crowd.  Squaring his shoulders and placing back on his mask of a smile, he turned to greet his hostess.

"Mrs. Hayden. It is a pleasure to see you." 

* * * * * * * * * 

She put the glittering diamonds into her ear, moved her head to the side and watched the light glint off of the cut edges.  She bent down to clasp the strap around her ankle.  Damn heels, she never liked them.  And taking one last glance at the elegant and sophisticated stranger in the mirror, she grabbed her wrap, clasped her purse and shut the door.  Her heels clicked on the marble floor as she walked slowly down the hall and out of her building.  The stranger looked back at her again in the reflection of the tinted windows of the limousine before her.

She looked up at the house as she stepped from the car; light spilling from the windows onto the pavement illuminated the street.  She pulled her skirt straight and smoothed it down, wishing that she was in her apartment curled up with a book, hair in a ponytail, dressed in sweats.  But she was standing before a million dollar house in Paris, dressed in a designer gown, with her hair swept up and a circlet of diamonds on her wrist.  The world of social obligations had finally caught her.  

She walked up the stairs and crossed the threshold.  

"Rory, Darling. You look wonderful." 

She smiled as the older woman drew her into an embrace. She placed a light kiss onto her cheek as she pulled away.

"Thank you, Grandma."

* * * * * * * * * 

Tristan listened politely to the circle of men before him.  He could discuss business and politics with the best of them, but tonight his mind easily drifted away.  He had dreamed of her and himself again the night before, for the fifth time in a row. He never really realized the extent of their interaction before. Mostly accidental and almost always laced with a tension and hostility, their conversations and meetings through high school and following years proved to be more numerous and at times more significant than he ever thought before.  The undercurrents running through were more than apparent when looking at it again from a different perspective.  The innocent beginnings evolved into something more instinctive with hostility warring with a yearning to be finally understood, their opposite personalities eventually getting the best of them and attacking each other head to head. 

He glanced around the room.   He could see her mahogany hair twisted up into an elegant knot and the curve of her hips, hugged by the long flowing skirt.  And as he heard the laugh, he scrutinized every inch that he could see of her with his eyes.  She turned slightly allowing him a profile of her face and of sparkling blue eyes. She met his eyes. 

No, he told himself.  It was impossible.

"What do you think Tristin?" 

The words broke his thoughts and turned his attention and focus back to his host and the men before him.  He replied politely and as the conversation turned away from him again he looked back but she was gone. 

He shook his head slightly.  He was starting to think he was losing it.  

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She stood in the background and in the shadows, the two places she loved most when it came to these social affairs.  Usually there was good conversation to be had with her grandparent's old friends and acquaintances but tonight she wanted to retain the role of observer, which she slipped into so easily.  

He was here, a totally unexpected and not entirely unwelcome addition to her grandparent's party, as far as she was concerned, at least.  She knew he had seen her as his eyes glanced upward from among the circle he was in and caught her, his surprise, disbelief and pleasure traveling across the room from the second of connection.  Meeting again in person may be not a step up from in dreams, she thought wryly as she sipped her champagne slowly.  She didn't remember half of the encounters in real life she relived in her dreams.  That could be considered a good thing. He always knew how to get on her last nerve and fill her with the conflicting emotions and desires.  The craving of just wanting to hit him warred with the distinct instinct to shut him up with her lips on his and consequently successfully putting both of them out of their misery.   Parallel miseries, indeed, for they would kill each other eventually if they ever followed the inclination obviously present, to get together. 

She kept her distance. Seeing an old friend again should have been simple. But with nothing with her and Tristin was ever simple. She released him from her observation as he turned his smirk and charm onto another young woman. Turning to leave the room, she gulped the remaining champagne trying to cool the jealousy the suddenly flared inside of her. Nothing was simple period. 

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next chapter won't be coming for a bit but let me know what you think about this one… review please!


	4. and all my instincts, they return

Gone But Not Forgotten And All My Instincts, They Return 

snoflaik

Disclaimer: See part 1

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She sagged against the edge of the balcony and moved her head in a circle, stretching the kinks from her neck.  She closed her eyes for a moment, shutting out the city below and beyond, shutting out the boy whom she had seen again as a man in the room just behind her.  She had wandered onto the balcony in order to clear her head after becoming increasingly irritated with herself for becoming so infatuated with him. There was something different about him. He had finally grown up.  

He walked through the doorway into the night, stopping as he saw her leaning against the balcony.  She stood at ease, arms spread apart leaning on edge, supporting her weight. The city was bright and alive beyond her; the Eiffel Tower a brilliant outline in the distance. He took a sip from the champagne glass, again in his hand and studied the woman before him.  He recognized her, of course. Tristin DuGrey did not forget someone who looked like _that_ even when he really should. He chuckled quietly to himself, the inevitable meeting would finally occur.

"I believe this is the part where we fall into each others arms, profess our love, look into one another's eyes and have that first true kiss." He said loudly from the doorway. He watched her turn slowly, obviously already knowing who it was. 

"Is it now?" asked Rory with a raise of her brow.

"Indeed, it is the classic ending to a story such as ours." Tristin continued as he started to walk towards her. "Two old friends finally meeting again after years of separation. Personal dreams and happiness have already been fulfilled, but something is still missing.  The setting is perfect; a clear spring night, moonlight, a body of water, sweeping views of a city, formal attire.  All we need is that special song to play and we'll be all set."

"Quite the romantic, I see. Who are you and what have you done with Tristin?" She asked incredulously.

He smiled slowly and a twinge of bitterness sharpened the lines of his mouth. "Expecting me to say something like screw the professions of love, let's just make out? Well Mary, I'm sorry to disappoint." He added taking a sip of champagne and looking out over the city.  She was silent for a moment and he could feel her eyes on him, observing. 

"So how have you been, Tristin?" she asked quietly. 

"Ahh we begin with the pleasantries. Perfect!" he replied with a smile turning to face her. He saw her eyes darken and scowl begin to appear on her face.

"Don't mock me, DuGrey."

"I'm sorry. It appears that just being around you makes my good breeding and growth fly straight out the window. And somehow I still manage to act like a royal jackass."

"Once a jackass always a jackass is how I have seen it," she drawled innocently. 

"Ouch. Perhaps, I wouldn't seem so donkey-esque had you ever accepted my overtures of friendship and understanding and actually gotten to know me; had you not always believed what others told you, had you seen for yourself." 

"Overtures of friendship?" she said with a snort, "All you ever wanted to do was get into my pants and you know it." She added looking away from him.

"Alright I admit it." Her head swung to look at him, amazement filling her eyes.

"I wanted you," he continued, "Is there anything wrong with that? I was eighteen years old, for Christ sake. Any guy would have wanted you. Are raging hormones a crime?" He asked the heavens with a dramatic gesture,  "But you had no part of it and I respected you for that," he added pointing at her, "So I changed tactics. If I couldn't have you, I could at least try to be your friend but you couldn't see past what you had heard and what you had already decided about me. We had some friendly moments I'll admit but I'm afraid we were never friends." He finished with a sad shake of his head. 

"And thus the flaw in the great master plan is uncovered," mused Rory quietly beside him. 

"Yeah, it never would of panned out anyway. I was just holding onto it for the earth-shattering kiss aspect." He replied with a mischievous grin.

"And he returns, all shall be right in the world again." 

"I remember another time when similar words were uttered by your lips." He said quietly looking over at her again. 

"As do I. As do I.  We may not have been friends Tristin, but we were something." She replied meeting his gaze.

"We definitely were something." He replied softly.

He studied her profile as she stared out into the distance and smiled quietly to himself before reaching over to take her hand in his. She tensed and turned to him a question in her eyes.

"Goodbye, Lorelei Leigh Gilmore." He said before bending over and placing a gentle kiss on her hand. He stood straight and met her eyes, "Until we meet again."

"Yes, until then." He heard her whisper softly as he stepped back inside. 

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_Finis_


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